learning to live..

There was no time for pain
No energy for anger
The sightlessness of hatred slips away
Walking through winter streets alone
He stops and takes a breath
With confidence and self control

I look at the world and see no understanding
Im waiting to find some sense of strength
Im begging you from the bottom of my heart to show some understanding

I need to live life
Like some people never will
So find me kindness
Find me beauty
Find me truth
When temptation brings me to my knees
And I lay here drained on stength
Show me kindness
Show me beauty
Show me truth

The ways that your heart sounds makes all the difference
Its what decides if youll endure the pain that we all feel
The way that your heart beats makes all the difference
In learning to live
Here before me is my soul
Im learning to live
I wont give up
Till Ive no more to give

Listening to the city
Whispering its violence
I set out watching from above
The 90s bring new questions
New solutions to be found
I fell in love to be let down

Once again we dance in the crowd
At times a step away
From a common fear thats all spread out
It wont listen to what you say
Once youre touched and you stand alone
To face the bitter fight
Once I reached for love
And now I reach for life

Another chance to lift my life
Free the sensation in my heart
To ride the wings of dreams into changing horizons
It brings inner peace within my mind,
As Im lifted from where Ive split my life
I hear an innocnet voice
I hear kindness, beauty and truth

The way your heart sounds makes all the difference
Its what decides if youll endure the pain that we all feel
The way your heart beats makes all the difference
In learning to live
Spread before you is your soul
So forever hold the dreams within our hearts
Through natures inflexible grace

music life 2008...

hm ni di antara band yg aku da join dlm 2008...

sekadar ingin bersuara....

Goda

Ku tergoda
Dan sama semuanya
Hatiku jiwaku
Gara ku bersatu
Mungkin ku tak bisa
Sadarkan semua hampa dan benci
Ada dan ku tak bisa
Sanggup lari dari ertinya

Aku ..
Dapatkah..
Cinta yang
Kau beri ..
Meski aku insan biasa
Masih ingin aku berkata

Ku tergoda dan sama merasa
Hatiku jiwaku kesalku salahku
Mungkin ku tak bisa
Sadarkan semua hampa dan benci
Yang ada dan ku tak bisa
Sanggup lari dari ertinya

Kau hancur dunia ku...

Aku dan guitar...(music life)

Aku dan guitar...

aku meminati bermain gitar sejakku dibangku skolah lg...masetu umur aku baru je 12 thn...tp x bape siyes sgt la kat gitar..main cmtu2 je...ku hulu kehilir pun aku dgn gitar...lepak2 ngan member sambil main gitar...gmbr yg kat atas ni pulak mase tu aku da cecah dlm 14 thn or 15 la...ni kire firts line up aku la....semua pun lebih kurg umur aku...band ni berpunca dari dari kwn ku gak asalnya...die ajak aku join band yg bwh pakcik die ...pakcik die dikenali sebagai cikgu z...mase aku join yg aku jmpe hanye drummer and vocal je...so mase aku join masing2 da bincg2 pastu cari la pemain bass ...bass tu aku nye kwn gak ...aku pun ajak die join..and cari rthm guitar skali...pastu jadila band...mase tu band ni ditubuhkan untuk btul2 nak wat recording...and sambil2 tu cikgu z suh kitorg men kenduri kawen...mungkin nak cari pengalamn...

sampailah satu ari tu kitorg dipanggil uji bakat ...try nye try dpt gak la....dorg pandang kitorg pun sbb semua masih mude g mase tu tp da boleh main music...penerbit yg nak terbit kan band kitorg ni dulu dulu name nya eddie hamid...huhu ...mase tu blum sign ape2 g...cume da bincag nak sign contract ....tp malang x berbau...bass kitorg ditimpe kemalangan....die meninggal ditempat kejadian pasal motor ......hm aku sedey btul mase tu...mcm x sangke2 je...sehari sblum nak sign die da pegi dulu....lps pemergian arwah tu band ni da xmcm dulu lg da...masing2 pun da ilang punca...tambh lg mase tu ade krisis yg agak emosi gak...n band aku keluar dari bwh cikgu tu tuk bergerak sendirian...lps je 2 or 3 bln senyap aku berjumpe lak ngan sorg drummer nih...name die org panggil manje..huhu manje kot bdk ni...tp die main drum mmg x nmpk manje kot huhu...

bincg punye bincg aku pun tubuhkan band nih...dan band ni maneger die ayh aku gak n pakcik aku byk gak tolong2...mcmana pun cantact mesti mau ade....target band pun same gak ..nak jadi artis recording gak...so mcm bese la praktis ...n byk gak la wat show umum yg dianjurkan kebanyakkanye member2 pakcik aku huhu...leh la cari pengalamn men depan org pastu de satu ahri tu g la uji bakat yg derikemen kan pakcik aku ....syraikat tu dikenali NAR record yg artis bwh die spider and mor2 la...test nye test vocal lak kantoi recording...ntah ape deinye spoil tah mase tu ...so mase tu senyap la dulu band aku...lps je bincg2 semua pun nak cari vocal tuk truskan test recording tu...tp malngnye lps tu xde kabar berita gak...lame gak la menunggu...dorg ckp bajet xde...huhu...kantoi gak la kot...

lps lame menyepi ..pemain bass lak wat hal..masalh displin out..so die kene buang n yg buang tu pun pakcik aku ...xtau la die wat keputusan tu ade baiknye or x tu terpulanglah mungkin die lebih tau....lps tu aku bertemu ngan sorg brader nih...name die akid...die nak join band ni ..brader ni pun kire otai gak la..byk gak la yg ditujuk ajar...macm bese kitorg lebih kat battle of the band....kehadiran brader tuh mmg membuatkan perubahan gak la..byk gal kitorg sapu juara pasal die nih...





mcm gmbr kat atas nih aku diajak join main battle ikut brader nih nye kwn...byk gal pendedahan aku dlm music bile jmpe dorg nih...n more2 la ngan die nih...

band asal aku masih diteruskan cm bese masuk gak battle bebanyak...n ade satu hari tu band aku terpilih tuk uji bakat rentak juar...bg aku mase tu cm x caye je aku ...dulu tgok org main rentak juara....skrg da terpilih lak...huhu nasib aku baik hari tu aku dpt masuk ke suku akhir...merasala aku masuk dlm tv...huhu...

Berentap punye berentap aku ditakdirkan dgn keputusan keseluruhan dpt la band aku no 2...aku cm x caye je leh menag gak huhu....nangis2 gak la balik tu kat umh huhu...da la masuk tv menang la plak...gembira la gak aku mase tuh...

video kat bwh ni antara salah satu sedutan mase aku peform separuh akhir rentak juara tuh...




Babak sterusnye aku pun dpt la byk undangan show umum berbayar...so mase tu byk gak la main stage show...huhu boleh tahan loaded gak la mase tuh...

ni pun antara satu babak mase aku wat stage peformer...

tmn tasik titiwangsa...


and more2 lah...

lps sekian lame gak la wat show...aku ditimpa kemalangan di tgh jln...aku koma ...teerkandas di tepi jln...air laut pun x bergelora seperti dulu...kadang2 je die berombak...tp x besar mane pun...sehinggalah aku merempat mencari ...entah apa tah yg aku cari...dan...




tinggalah aku sendirian disini... mcm dlm gmbar kat atas ni...so aku pun memblueskan diri aku.......hmm skrg aku terpakse bgun bersendirian...tanpa kehadiran watak2 dulu lg...so entah apa yg aku sdg aku pikirkan...pandailah aku membawa diri...tuk trus hidup...
...zzz.......

History...

aku ....sape aku....aku mempunyai keluarga...n ade adik beradik...ada 3 org adik..dan aku yg pertama.aku menetap di n9 aitu seremban...masih g still mecari kehidupan..erm..kehidupan yg aku sendiri pun xdpt nak jawab lg...aku juga pencinta music...aku suka bermain gitar...aku meminati gitar sejak umurku dibangku skolah lg sampailah skrg aku dpt membikin studio musicku sendiri diatas hasil kumpulanku juga n ayah ...erm....cara etika hidupku pun agak kesosialan juga...agak kurg baik dlm hidupku..so aku sememangnya xbaik juga...tentang pelajaranku ....aku juga seorg yg dunggu kirenya aku kurg pandai dlm pelajaran sekolahku dulu..skrg aku terpaksa menentukan nasibku sendiri...mcmana pun hidup mesti di teruskan...walaupun skrg aku dlm keadaan koma...

sifat aku..aku seorg yg suka sembunyi...xsuka bercampur...klu nak campur pun tgok kepala gak...tp skrg aku lebih tahu bahawa kehidupan ni memrlukan itu semua...maksudku...kita kene pandai menyusuaikan diri akhirnya....tp aku take a easy...
kat luar aku juga pendiam...xsuka byk ckp...tgok mood gak...hmm rasanya aku mmg bergantung pada mood...mood mencorakkan aku...tp aku xtau istilah tu aku nak guna sampai bila...hmm pandailah aku nak pikir...aku juga seorg yg suka memendam...xtau la apa dlm hati aku nih...
aku seorg yg beremosi gak....kadang2 emosi menghantui aku...kadang2 memakan aku...tp bile umo semakin meningkat...aku byk belajar la...huhu....sikit2 aku naik tahap usia kematanganku nih....aku rasa aku kene berfikiran luas...hmm cinta...aku seorg yg kuat apabila dgnnya...bgku cinta adlh kekuatan ataupun extra spirit dlm hidup...kesimpulannya bg aku cinta mmg berkuasa atau pun ada aura yg hebat..tp kadang2 membunuhku...aku kadang2 boleh menjadi super saiya keempat..haha....hmm hakikatnya aku kene belajar hidup sendiri juga .....so aku akan jadi yg terkuat kat situ....zzzz....

Intro.....Space dye vest

Falling through pages of Martens on angels
Feeling my heart pull west
I saw the future dressed as a stranger
love in a space-dye vest

Love is an act of blood and I'm bleeding
a pool in the shape of a heart
Beauty projection in the reflection
Always the worst way to start

"But he's the sort who can't know
anyone intimately, least of all a
woman. He doesn't know what a woman
is. He wants you for a possession,
something to look at like a painting or an ivory box.
Something to own and to display. He doesn't want you to be real,
or to think or to live. He doesn't love you, but I love you.
I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and feelings, even when
I hold you in my arms. It's our last chance... It's our last chance..."

Now that you're gone I'm trying to take it
Learning to swallow the rage
Found a new girl I think we can make it
as long as she stays on the page

This is not how I want it to end
And I'll never be open again

"...I was gonna move out...ummm...get,
get a job, get my own place, ummm,
but... I go into the mall where I
want to work and they tell me, I'm,
I was too young..."

"Some people, gave advice before,
about facing the facts, about
facing reality. And this is, this
without a doubt, is his biggest
challenge ever. He's going to have to face it.
You're gonna have to try, he's gonna to have to try and,
uh, and, and, and get some help here. I mean no one can
say they know how he feels."

"That, so they say that, in ya know
like, Houston or something, you'd
say it's a hundred and eighty degrees,
but it's a dry heat
. In Houston they say that?
Oh, maybe not. I'm all mixed up.
Dry until they hit the swimming pool."
"...I get up with the sun... Listen.
You have your own room to sleep in,
I don't care what you do. I don't
care when. That door gets locked,
that door gets locked at night by nine o'clock.
If you're not in this house by nine o'clock, then you'd better find some
place to sleep. Because you're not going to be a bum in this house.
Supper is ready..."

There's no one to take my blame
if they wanted to
There's nothing to keep me sane
and it's all the same to you
There's nowhere to set my aim
so I'm everywhere
Never come near me again
do you really think I need you

I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.
I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.

And I'll smile and I'll learn to pretend
And I'll never be open again
And I'll have no more dreams to defend
And I'll never be open again